


It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends

by Exterminatorviolence



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2251812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exterminatorviolence/pseuds/Exterminatorviolence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They still kiss, well, Ray kisses Joel, but it's only ever on the cheek. Joel never tries to kiss Ray; if he did, he knows he'd be pushed away. They're friends, after all. Just friends. And Joel was fine with that...Really, he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends

**Author's Note:**

> A fic based off of the song "It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends" by Bright Eyes.

They still kiss, well, Ray kisses Joel, but it's only ever on the cheek. Joel never tries to kiss Ray; if he did, he knows he'd be pushed away. They're friends, after all. Just friends. And Joel was fine with that...Really, he was. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss Ray's kisses; the proper kind that filled him with warmth and made him feel like he was twenty again.

He wasn't sure why Ray still kissed him. Maybe it was because he felt bad for Joel or he was just that friendly with all of his friends. Sometimes he thinks about telling Ray that they shouldn't be friends anymore, or that he should stop kissing him on the cheek because every time he does, it makes Joel want to scream and pull his hair out.

\------

Joel still called Ray. To make plans to go out-purely as friends-or because he was lonely and drunk and his mind wasn't able to yell at him to stop. Normally he just got Ray's answering machine, with that damn cheery voice that told him to "leave a message". He never does though.

Sometimes Michael would answer the phone. Why Michael was answering Ray's phone, Joel always forgot. But he did and it would give Joel false hope every single time he heard the phone being picked up mid ring, thinking that it might be Ray, only to hear Michael's flat tone. It hurt more than Joel would like to admit.

The red head also answered with the same thing every time, "No, he's not with me. He left his phone here...I think he's with Ryan...Bye, Joel." Oh. Right, Michael and Ray were roommates. Joel forgot things easily-maybe that was one of the reasons why Ray didn't want to be with him anymore.

He tried not to think about the fact that Ray was hanging out with Ryan. They worked together, they were friends, why wouldn't they hang out together? Joel was just being paranoid...right?

Of course...He doesn't have the right to feel jealous anymore. Ray wasn't his anymore, so why did he still feel that burning feeling in his stomach when he thought about Ray and Ryan? Maybe it was heartbreak. Does heartbreak feel like this? Something burning in the pit of his stomach, along with a heavy heart that seemed to physically hurt, and a constant lump in his throat?

Joel thought heartbreak was supposed to be something almost as beautiful as love. At least, that's what all those books and movies taught him. Wasn't heartbreak supposed to be romantic too?

Joel thought those movies could go fuck themselves.

\-----

They still went out for food. Mostly lunches, and almost never dinners. Not anymore. It was another thing Ray did that Joel wasn't sure about. Why go out for lunch? Was it because Joel payed almost every time (old habits die hard), or because Ray just really wanted to be friends?

Joel didn't think he could do this "friendship" thing for much longer.

During the lunches they went to get fast food, but sometimes, they could sit down together and eat. It was different though. Joel was too awkward, like he was trying to form too many sentences at once and couldn't complete any of them. Ray talked enough for the both of them though.

Ray also didn't try to play with Joel's feet under the table anymore, or hold his hand.

And it was the little things, Joel noticed, that he misses the most; that hurt the most. Ray never seemed to notice though, too wrapped up in telling Joel the most recent thing Gavin did or about some new video game that the older man "had to play".

Joel didn't point out that he hasn't touched his Xbox since Ray moved out.

\-----

They still hung out and watched movies, Ray insists because "it's what friends do". It was always at Joel's house too because his TV was apparently better and his couch was comfier. He would stay overnight most times, claiming to be too tired to walk back to his house.

Joel didn't have it in him to say no to the younger man.

This was different too. Hanging out and watching movies. For one, Ray didn't sleep in Joel's bed anymore; he always stayed on the couch, and they didn't share the couch anymore either. And Ray never rests his head in Joel's lap anymore when the movie got too slow for him to follow.

Joel thinks that Ray only comes over and stays the night so he's not alone in his own apartment.

It shouldn't hurt as much as it does.

\-----

Sometimes when Joel accidentally brings up a memory of them together, Ray would get upset. They would get into an argument about why they broke up and why Ray had to leave and couldn't they just work it out?

Ray says that Joel hurt him in a soft, breathy whisper that sounds like a prayer. And Joel wants to scream and shout that Ray hurt him more, that Joel's only ever around now because the younger man didn't want to be lonely, that he loves Ray more than himself and fucking, fuck Ray because if he lifted his shirt, there'd be no fucking wound.

\-----

It clicks for Joel one night; that Ray really didn't feel that broken because of their breakup and that Ray probably never loved him like Joel thought. And Joel feels like an idiot because how could he have not noticed that?

Now that he knows this, whenever they argue, all Joel can see are all these lies that Ray's saying about how he's hurt and that he's heartbroken over ending the relationship with Joel. Sure, he probably felt like that at he beginning of the relationship, but now? Those lines just sound rehearsed. Like they're ghosts of the truth Ray felt before.

\-----

Joel tells Ray he can't hang out that night. He makes up some excuse about his mom being in town or whatever and that he'd text the him tomorrow. He wonders if Ray knows it's a lie.

He drinks whiskey. A lot of it. He has plans to be drunk by himself and drown in his own pity. Pathetic, he knows, but maybe if he drinks enough he'll pass out and forget Ray's face by the time he wakes up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
